Rep Rumble: GAME III – DECIDER

soo

BY ROB

And yea the series went to the third game, and verily both teams tried it on with different tactics throughout the build-up.

McKinnon went forth upon the mound (60 minutes), and yea he did disparage the Son of Qld (Smith). But the Maroons saw through these blasphemous tactics, and hastily put forth the idea that once again somehow they are the underdogs.

The young disciple Klemmer went forth with the good word of the Blues, and yea he knocked a trainer unconscious in an opposed training session. Laurie looked on and said “Great smiting!”

Hodges went forth to the people of Queensland, via the media, and announced it would be his last Origin outing, and there was a loud wailing and gnashing of teeth from the banana benders.

Farah, in desperation, put forth a burnt offering (Wests 2015 record) to heal his bruised ribs, and the Origin god looked upon it and said “you’ve burnt the shit out of it, turn the grill down”, and there was no wailing because NSW hookers are pretty much interchangeable.

As is tradition the bye round played havoc with my tips, leading me to rend and tear at what little hair I have left and exclaim “Sod this”.

Holy Trinity – Blues

Aaron Woods – A.A.Ron currently bears a striking resemblance to one Jesus of Nazareth (albeit with more muscle) and he’ll need to be equally miraculous to carry the Blues forward against an ultra determined QLD defence. Expect smiting, lots of smiting.

Mitchell Pearce – Can Pearce Jr. resurrect his Origin career or will the QLDers nail him to the goal posts with pinpoint kicking? Best pray he turns water into wine!

Josh Dugan – Having fallen from heaven (Canberra) this Dragon now has a chance to become a Saint for all of NSW – 20 hallelujahs and 15 tackle breaks please.

Holy Trinity – Maroons

Cam Smith – Voted most likely by the heathen pagans (QLD fans) to serve up a good dollop of fire and brimstone, spurred on by sinful incantations from across the border.

Josh Papalii – Having shed his sins (pies) is now ready to take up the flaming banner of Cane toads and lay waste to the cockroaches before him. But seriously Papa, stay off the pies.

Cooper Cronk – was smote good and proper, verily missing Game II, which in turn allowed the Hellspawn known as DCE to play – QLDers, your prayers have been answered!

You Want Some Wrath Mate?

Verily if these two sides turn out a fizzer like Game I Dan shall put them on the review pyre and set them ablaze. We want full blown gladiatorial combat for 80 minutes, with lions and shit.

Divine Prophecy

The Blues pull a magical bunny out of their butts. QLD is inundated for 40 days and nights, forcing them to sacrifice DCE, who spends eternity down below trying to catch terrible passes from McCrone.

 

 

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