I See Red! A Field Guide to NRL Fashion in 2017

BY ROB

A new season means new jerseys, so we here at the Sportress thought we’d cast a somewhat sardonic eye over the incoming team strips you’ll see on display in 2017.

Not all teams have released their designs yet, so we’ll only be mocking those who have.

Brisbane Broncos

 

The home strip is quite a nice continuation of traditional Broncos colours, the main sponsor blends in nicely with the thick piping and gives you a smart, easily recognisable jersey.

The away strip is inverted to white, and without the colour blocking and the piping.

Wasn’t I supposed to be mocking something? Next please.

Canberra Raiders

 

A nice plain lime for the home style, ACT shoulder trimming and the now familiar Huawei “Peacock” splashed across the chest. Dare iced coffee adorns the sleeve, which is a step up from alcohol/gambling promotion.

Away is a bit odd, like the designer ran out of time and simply submitted a training jersey and hoped no one would notice. Thank goodness for the Huawei logo…

 

Canterbury-Bankstown Bulldogs

Guess who is sponsoring the Doggies this year? That’s right kids, it’s KIA!!! Clearly Kia didn’t hand over enough sponsor dollars, as the home jersey has nothing below the giant car logo, and the away strip is simply another inversion job in photoshop.

Cronulla-Sutherland Sharks

The Sharkies were too hungover from last year to submit designs on time – Booo-urns!!

Gold Coast Titans

The Titans also missed the homework deadline, as Jarryd is busy incorporating his brand into the overall design.

Manly Sea-Eagles

 

That logo is straight up hideous. Both jerseys are super boring, but I can’t get past that building block tilt on the R.

Melbourne Storm

V strips never go out of style, especially ones you can’t see on your home jersey because they’re so well blended with complimentary lighter shades. Sponsor wise you can lose all your money at Crown Casino, before enjoying a crappy flight home with Tigerair. The away jersey is the more striking of the two simply because you can see what the design is.

New Zealand Warriors

What is it with giant red sponsors dominating the NRL at the moment? I mean sure, the Warriors have had Vodafone with them a very long time (so long that the Vodafone spot is starting to look very dated), but maybe Vodafone could’ve adapted their visuals to complement the Warriors?

Both strips look as though they were ordered online, in bulk, in a rush, and then only customisation available were diagonal thin stripes. Yay.

Newcastle Knights

Because the Novocastrians don’t have enough problems already, they have decided to invest in this eyesore of a jersey. I can only assume both styles serve as visual weapons, disrupting the brainwaves of opponents, and creating gaps for the Knights to exploit. Both of them look like someone has cut up a circus tent for a shirt.

North Queensland Cowboys

That’s better! Simple design, not too much change, such a great home jer- And then the giant red Toyota logo comes screaming in from the sidelines and crashes into the away strip. WTF is with the red? Is the NRL slowly becoming a communist haven for corporate entities?

Parramatta Eels

No designs yet, although I’m guessing it’ll be blue and gold with a GIANT RED LOGO on it.

Penrith Panthers

Red. RedRedRedRedRed. Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedddddddddd.

This thing looks like Panthers management forgot to place the order for the proper jerseys, and began desperately rummaging through the supporters gear in the stock room, ordered all the OAK milk transfers they could get and started ironing them on. The striped colours keep making me think Castrol is a sponsor, even though they’re not.

South Sydney Rabbitohs

“Screw consistency!” screamed Rusty, hurling the away design across the office. “I want the boys to be cool under pressure, so slap an aircon brand on the away design…and get some damn red on that!”

Then you realise that Crown Resorts are back, sponsoring not one but two teams. I guess when the Bunnies play the Storm at home Crown always wins.

St George-Illawarra Dragons

The Dragons are one of those teams lucky enough to have nearly the same name as their sponsor, so they basically get to write their own name across their jersey. They’ve retained the classic Red V for the home strip, and used one of Dugan’s abandoned leg sleeve designs for the away design.

Sydney Roosters

Your logo is essentially poultry. Your sponsor is a brand who kills and sells poultry for your fans to eat. Makes sense.

Apart from that the Roosters maintain a pretty keen sense of tradition, simply inverting their tri-colour design for the away strip.

Wests Tigers

Apparently Tigers fans and players need a lot of legal representation. So much in fact that the team has taken it upon themselves to become a point of first contact.

The away jersey is kinda cool, with the faded Tiger logo in the background, while the home strip looks suspiciously like someone swiped an A-League number and Wested it up all nice and good.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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